In a recent case, three emotionally-traumatised kids, caught in their parents' bitter divorce battle, were sent for counselling by the Bombay High Court. Divorce cases are rising and the children have to bear the emotional trauma of the situation at a tender age. And if that's not enough to deal with, the custody battle only mess's things up further. That's why it's important to deal with such a situation with care.

We give you some things to keep in mind to help your child through the divorce:

1. Talk it out: Don't keep your child wondering what is wrong at home. Even if your child is young, talk to her about the situation. Explain to her why the separation is essential and how things will be different post the divorce. If your child is really young, you will need to assure her that the situation is not her fault at all. "Children who are around three to four years old might actually feel that the situation is arising due to them. It's essential to convince them that they are not to be blamed for their parents' separation," says psychiatrist, Dr Sharita Shah. "You may decide what is supposed to be told depending on your child's age. For instance if a father is having an extra-marital affair, and the child is not spoken to clearly, the child may feel that the mother stopped loving the father and will stop loving her in turn. So you can decide against telling her the entire truth, but make matters simple for her to understand," adds Dr Shah. Tell your child that you will always be there for her and assure her of your love for her.

2. Let them meet the father: Your divorce from your husband might have ended on a bitter note, but that doesn't permit you to keep your child away from him. Remember that in the development of a child, both, the mother and the father play pivotal roles. If you want to restrict visiting rights, permit the father to at least meet your child occasionally or as prescribed by the court. "The child should be allowed to meet his other parent. Especially if the parent having the custody is planning to re-marry, the other parent might help the child accept the step-parent in his life," says Dr Shah.

3. Find the right teacher: In recent times, the concept of a professor-friend has gained much popularity. Most teachers have acquired a friendly approach with their students to help them open up better. Find such a teacher in your child's school or college and acquaint him with the situations at your house. Do this to ensure that your child's behaviour is not different at school. The professor might in fact help your child psychologically and will keep an eye on him too.

4. Don't use your child as a scapegoat: Your divorce might be a big enough deal for your child to bear. Don't ruin matters for him further by using him as a scapegoat to win his custody. Offering gifts and treats as a bribe to make him want to stay with you can be one of the biggest mistakes. All the same, do not threaten your child to ask for your guidance in court. It could keep him unhappy all his life.

5. Keep an eye: Your child may not be able to comprehend the situation at home. Or may not be able to come to terms with it. Also, his peers at school might be questioning or mocking him about the situation as well. For most children, the thought of being away from one parent is scary enough, and on top of it to be mocked may be dreadful. Keep an eye on your child and notice any change in behaviour. Has he become too quiet or irritable? Does he become violent too fast? If he seems to be affected too much, take him to a therapist. "There are several symptoms that a child may show. It may be fear or anxiety, bedwetting, more clinginess to parents, poor eating habits, not being able to bear the absence of one parent, conduct issues in school etc. The older one may appear more withdrawn, quiet or isolated," Dr Shah explains. "Usually the parent should talk to the child if such symptoms are noticed, however if the child does not open up, perhaps someone else who the child is attached to (an aunt, a teacher or the grandparents) should try to tap into the child's mind."

6. Encourage him to talk: Don't just tell your child about the matter but encourage him to talk about it as well. Encourage him to ask questions or say things related to the matter. This will help you understand how he is taking the situation. If you have a healthy communication with your child, it will help him accept the situation better. As much as possible, don't let him keep anything to himself.

7. Ensure he has good friends: You might have a lot of things running through your mind but don't neglect the company your child is in. Keep your child away from kids who you think will make the situation worse for him. "Parents must shield the child from situations that can hassle them further. The child may have to go through a change of house, school and several other things. It can be very disturbing. So ensure what's best for the child," says Dr. Shah. Ensure that he has a set of friends who will help him through the situation. Friends are a great help in such situations.

8. Keep his schedule: Just because your life is going through a massive change that doesn't mean your child misses what's important in his life. It is your job to ensure that his studies or other important activities are not affected. Don't make your child feel that his life has to revolve around this divorce. Keep things as normal as possible.